Lost in a Memory

I feel lost in a memory and, for someone like me, that’s the worst place to be. I have to keep reminding myself of this, what I wrote so long ago. The fact that I have to hurts me in so many ways. These memories (and flashbacks) are teleportation devices, sending me back to the…

I’m Never Going to Church Again

Tuesday night, I went to church for mid-week service. I caught Lyft there and back. I was kind of excited as I hopped in my driver’s car and we had a conversation about God, Florida, and coffee and insomnia. I anticipated seeing church friends and acquaintances and learning about God. All of those things happened…

You Matter, Here’s Why

Last night, my pastor preached a philosophical sermon my broken heart desperately needed to hear. In it, he tackled one of the biggest questions everyone faces at some point in their lives: “Who am I?” There is a verse in Acts 17 that gives great insight to that question. Acts 17:28 says this: “For in…

For Taylor

None of us clapped after he read AN ENTIRE ACT OF SORROW and I wonder if Rebecca is the bridge he still can’t burn which is to say, if he was there, could he, would she have allowed him to, be her knight in shattered armor? He offered no thanks after finishing, like lost gratitude…

The Traumatic Nature of Deconversion

Memory is unreliable when recounting old wounds, but I do know that the beginning of the end started with an email to an old professor in which I expressed: “I don’t think I believe in the God of Christianity anymore,” and ended with a Facebook post about deconversion, and an awkward, hard conversation at the…

The Doctrine of “YOLO”

If the only things that matter in life are eternal then why is it that so much of our focus is spent on the temporary, the here and now? What have we to gain from this culture of “YOLO”? As we all know, contrary to popular believe, we do not live just once. The book…

An Adulting Moment: Don’t Cry Over Dropped Food

There’s no manuscript for adulting but, boy, do I wish there was! Tonight, I had a plan: come home from work, cook a dinner of pork chops and veggies, and go to bed. My plan was fool-proof—almost. As I was cutting my freshly cooked and perfectly seasoned pork chops, the unthinkable happened: my plate tumbled…

Being Present for Today in 2019

It’s nearing the end of the first day of 2019 and everything that could distract me is vying for my attention: my random thoughts, both good and bad, the book of Dr. Maya Angelou’s poetry I have open on my desk, even my current shuffled iTunes playlist. Last year I was so focused on operating…

And Jesus Asked, “Who Do You Say That I Am?”

He asked His disciples, “13Who do people say that the Son of Man is?” 14And they said, “Some say John the Baptist; others, Elijah; still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” 15“But you,” He asked them, “who do you say that I am?” 16Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the…

A Letter to Panic Attacks and Anxiety

Dear Anxiety and PTSD-induced Panic Attacks, I hate you. No, I loathe you. You are the bane of my existence and the reason I can’t enjoy the things that once brought me peace and happiness like God or writing or reading. Yes, even reading (don’t ask, just know that it is horrendous). You make me…