The Traumatic Nature of Deconversion

Memory is unreliable when recounting old wounds, but I do know that the beginning of the end started with an email to an old professor in which I expressed: “I don’t think I believe in the God of Christianity anymore,” and ended with a Facebook post about deconversion, and an awkward, hard conversation at the…

Having a Form of Godliness… (The External Christian)

Dear Lovelies, I’m following a Facebook post by my friend in which he questions “what is the line between ‘merriment’ and ‘sin’ when it comes to Christians drinking?” This is an important question because there’s a lot of discussion around this topic and many Christians disagree (and it’s my personal opinion that Michael likes to…

The Hope of the Messiah in the Midst of Pharisees

When I was washing my cup out late last week, I washed the outside first and then the inside. I usually don’t do that. I usually wash it the other way around. I didn’t think anything of it until Holy Spirit reminded me of this verse: “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you…

Why “God Loves Me” Isn’t Enough to Sustain Christianity

During a conversation I had with a friend last week, she expressed to me that she was doubting several things regarding spirituality and Christianity, as a religion, and what value it had to her personally. She told me that she no longer wanted anything to do with the Church, as her congregants are full of gossiping,…

When Divinity Interrupts Humanity

Dear Lovelies, It’s been over a month since I last posted and that was deliberate. I wanted to give myself time to see if coming back to Christ would actually make a difference in my life. Needless to say, God definitely took me up on that challenge! When I want to be, I’m a private…

Something Like Love (The Birth of a Flame)

It started or, depending on your view of things, ended Tuesday night. Watching ancient paper documents from long ago employments, along with other things like wood and paper plates, burn in a fire pit in the backyard of my group leader’s house was, for lack of a better word, magical. There’s something intriguing about seeing something…

Breaking up with God: The Aftermath

It’s an odd thing, being in a relationship with someone, loving and caring for them, and then separating. One becomes two again. You avoid them as best you can, inwardly cringing and outwardly hiding if your paths happen to cross. The awkward conversations you have when you’re not yet in the “we’re still friends” stage….

Empathetizing with My Abuser

Dear Lovelies, Yes, you read the title right. No, I haven’t lost my mind (not yet anyway). Just, let me explain. During a conversation I had yesterday with a friend, I realized why my abuser left Christianity. It was because of people who claim to be genuine Christians but are hypocritical, graceless, and so close-minded…

If You Were a REAL Christian, You Wouldn’t Doubt

In my experience, there’s one thing that is seldom, if ever, discussed in Evangelical Christian circles: doubt. If mentioned at all, it’s said with a disapproving tone and usually accompanied with a head shake that is supposed to convey genuine sadness and grief over “that poor backslider” who had “such a strong relationship with Jesus”,…