The Traumatic Nature of Deconversion

Memory is unreliable when recounting old wounds, but I do know that the beginning of the end started with an email to an old professor in which I expressed: “I don’t think I believe in the God of Christianity anymore,” and ended with a Facebook post about deconversion, and an awkward, hard conversation at the…

And Jesus Asked, “Who Do You Say That I Am?”

He asked His disciples, “13Who do people say that the Son of Man is?” 14And they said, “Some say John the Baptist; others, Elijah; still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” 15“But you,” He asked them, “who do you say that I am?” 16Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the…

Panic Attacks and Sexuality in the Church

My pastor talked about sex last Tuesday night. I knew that before I got there, thanks to the Facebook post on our mid-week service page. In hindsight, I probably should not have gone, but I’m getting ahead of myself. For context, we’re currently going through the book of Ephesians and Tuesday night’s passage of Scripture…

Having a Form of Godliness… (The External Christian)

Dear Lovelies, I’m following a Facebook post by my friend in which he questions “what is the line between ‘merriment’ and ‘sin’ when it comes to Christians drinking?” This is an important question because there’s a lot of discussion around this topic and many Christians disagree (and it’s my personal opinion that Michael likes to…

Viewing God Through the Lens of Trauma

Earlier today, I read through my friend Michael Patton’s post “On Leaving My First Love” and found similarities between where he was years ago and where I find myself now. In it, he speaks of his life’s difficulties, arguing with God, and finally coming to a place of surrender. I am somewhere between pulling myself…

The Siren Song of Self-Harm

These past few weeks have been hard, especially Tuesday. Tuesday was a hellish day because it marked 4 years of dealing with the Beast that is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. You would think that after some time, especially with the introduction and implementation of coping mechanisms and breathing techniques, the Beast would get bored and go…

The Great Divorce

No, this post isn’t a commentary on the story by C.S. Lewis (just getting that out of the way first). This post is altogether something different. For my readers who have been following my journey from the beginning, this may surprise you (or maybe not, I don’t know). For those of you who just stumbled…

An Honest Conversation about Suicide

I did not want to write this, but it needed to be said. This is hard for me. Please give me grace. An Honest and Vulnerable Prayer God, please, if You are, at all, merciful like they say You are, like I know You to be, please kill me. Please. I will never ask for…

The Night I Discovered the Bible isn’t THAT Important

I know I might accumulate a lot of hate for this post; or perhaps, no one will even notice my words on this page, but for those who choose to see this to the end, just stay with me. I promise this is going somewhere. I Have a Secret to Share… Lean in close… Here…

Lessons while Watching the Sunrise

Dear Lovelies, I did something different this morning. Instead of spending countless minutes on my phone at the first sign of consciousness, I went outside to my backyard and watched the sunrise. The first verse of Psalms 8 says “Lord, our Lord, how magnificent is Your name throughout the earth!” That verse, and the rest…