A Fictional Psychological Scene: Is it Believable?

Dear Lovelies, I am awake and writing because I have horrible insomnia. I wrote this scene that may or may not go into the novel that I’ve been writing off and on for three years now (For more info about the writing process, you can read here and here). Sexual assault is mentioned and the…

Leaving a Legacy

Dear Lovelies, This post is two days too late, but better late than never, right? As of two days ago, I’ve had this blog for one year. I’ve splattered myself all over this blog and you guys, my lovely readers, have been witness to it, reading and supporting me along the way. Thank you dudes…

Thoughts on The Greatest Showman

Dear Lovelies, If you haven’t seen The Greatest Showman, you need to watch it. This is probably the only movie that I have cried happy tears from, the only movie I would pay to see again in the theatre. It was beautiful. I’ve fallen in love with the characters and the music! Guys, the music…

Another Letter to My Abuser

Dear Voldemort, I know I shouldn’t say what I’m about to say because it’s not uplifting or triumphant; there’s no happy ending to this particular moment in time. I need to get some things off my chest and you need to listen. I have spent the last two days in complete depersonalization mode, just watching…

Birthday Post

Today is my birthday. I’m now 26. I feel no different than I did yesterday, except that I got better sleep last night than the night before. I’m putting up clean laundry while listening to NF, a Christian rapper whose raw honesty draws me to him. I don’t know what to do with myself today,…

Triple Threat: Dissociation, Anxiety, and Insomnia

Dear Lovelies, As I write this, it is almost 6:00 in the morning and I have been awake now for three hours. This is my normal. I keep my phone next to me so I can play calming music or a thunderstorm on YouTube in hopes of falling back asleep. I keep snacks in my…

Travailing through Trauma: A Night With PTSD

Last night, PTSD won. I spent most of the night curled up in my closet, like a child afraid of the Boogeyman, trying my best to be as small as possible, like nothing at all, because the amount of open space my room offered was too much. Around 11 p.m., I laid on the floor…

Lost: Searching for Peace

I just got home from life group, AKA, hanging out with a bunch of Christians. It was uneventful until two games of Brazilian Uno, as per our nightly routine, but something different happened tonight. A lone piano was played, came alive by talented hands, and praises were sung to a holy deity. Tonight, different voices…

What No One Tells You after a Suicide Attempt (Part 2)

*If you’re interested in reading Part 1, click here* When you’re filling out paperwork, after being hospitalized, and the personnel asks you if wanted to die, if you really meant to jump, do not tell her the truth; they’ll only use it against you to keep you locked up longer. When you tell the unfeeling…

Panic Attack Hangover: The Aftermath

When most people think of panic attacks, a certain image comes to mind. Maybe it’s oneĀ of someone sitting on the floor in a far corner, or on a chair bent over, hands over their ears, or on their head, hyperventilating and struggling to breathe normally. For some, that’s the case. But nobody ever talks about…