Panic Attack Hangover: The Aftermath

When most people think of panic attacks, a certain image comes to mind. Maybe it’s one of someone sitting on the floor in a far corner, or on a chair bent over, hands over their ears, or on their head, hyperventilating and struggling to breathe normally. For some, that’s the case. But nobody ever talks about…

Need Feedback

I am bored and need feedback on writing. Here are the first two pages of what I wrote tonight. Have fun and let me know your thoughts good, bad, or otherwise. ~Day 1~ On the day everything went to hell, Catherine Dawson sat across from me, with her chestnut hair pulled back into a loose…

Defying Gravity (and Religion)

Dear Lovelies, The words Elphaba sings in Defying Gravity are a testament to where I am right now: “Something has changed within me, something is not the same. I’m through with playing by the rules of someone else’s game. Too late for second guessing, too late to go back to sleep. It’s time to trust…

Being in a State of Unicorn

Yesterday, someone dear to me suggested, in the middle of a conversation, that I write down every emotion I was afraid to face and name while going through this process, this balancing act, of belief. The first thing I wrote down was “confused”. That one came too easily, followed by more expected feelings like “emptiness”…

Return from Hiatus: Questioning Everything

Dear Lovelies, I know I’ve been away from you guys for a while, sorry about that. I took a break because I’m still, 3 months later, trying to figure out what my beliefs are and trying to discover what I’m actually leaving: God or the church? I don’t think there’s an easy answer because those…

Writing in the Midst of a Flashback

6 A.M. A nurse disturbs my nightmares, and temporarily prevents me from my ritual of staring at the wall upon sweating myself awake, to take my vitals. She wants to make sure I’m still alive, even though, by virtue of this place, I am considered one of the walking dead. 7 A.M. I try to…